Why I Have Never Read the Book of Mormon Cover to Cover

We loved this post from Zandra Vranes on the Sistas in Zion Facebook page!

Confession: I have never read the Book of Mormon and the Bible. 

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Yup, it’s true, Saints. To this day, the fastest way for me to fall asleep is to pick up the scriptures and start reading page by page. It’s like anointed Ambien that will send me into a spiritual-slumber.

I spent years of my life trying to read the scriptures cover to cover only to end up feeling like a failure. At church whenever I got those Book of Mormon challenge coloring sheets, I’d commit and tell myself, "This will be the time I finish." Then somewhere along the line, I’d get so far behind that it was impossible to make the deadline. Once, a youth leader scolded me about how I could read secular books so rapidly (I had read over 100 books that summer), but slacked off when it came to the scriptures. I felt so guilty about their comments that I colored in all the boxes on the B.O.M. challenge sheet and straight up lied that I had finished it. Then I felt even guiltier when I got to attend the “special activity” for those who had successfully completed the challenge. Shortly after that, I saw some mold on my sacrament bread and was convinced that it was because I had continued to take the sacrament even after lying about the scripture challenge. So I hurried into the bishop’s office to confess, lest my whole ward catch Mormon-mildew and die.  
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Over the years as I selectively shared my scriptural-secret with others, they’d motivate me with antidotes such as: “My bishop won’t even clear anyone to serve a mission who hasn’t read the Book of Mormon.” Or, “You just need to get into a good institute class.” Or, “That’s just the Adversary trying to get you not to finish it.” I mean, I don’t know why the devil would be in my bedroom during scripture study, but just in case they were right, I was determined to get rid of him. I tried different rooms, outside, playing MoTab music, prayers, consecrated oil, reading out loud. Look, short of an exorcism, I had done everything possible to uninvite Satan’s troublesome behind to scripture time. #NotTodaySatan
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Eventually, I just stopped talking about it, but when folks would say things at church like, “You can’t be a good youth leader if you haven’t ever read the Book of Mormon.” I’d raise my hand and say, “That’s a lie, I’ve never read the Book of Mormon and I keep getting called to youth callings. Shoot, even when I remind the bishop of my remedial reading record, I still wind up at girls camp with no access to a shower for a week.” Like trust me y’all, if not finishing the scriptures could get you out of your free church job, I never ever, ever, ever would’ve wound up on a pioneer trek.

Finally, one day my sister asked me, “How old were you when you finished the Book of Mormon for the first time?” I said, “I’ve never read it all the way through.” She was surprised and asked, “Then how did you gain your testimony of the scriptures?” So I began to recount to her all the ways God had answered me through the scriptures. I talked to her about how I have found guidance for my life through the Holy Word, and how the stories provide tangible examples for me. We spoke about how I have found peace, and love, and mercy, and grace, and power, and assurance, and comfort through the holy scriptures. I told her how I can never read them all the way through because, in the midst of my attempts, God gives me a topic that I thirst for and then I end up on a scriptural search for more of that specific living water. Sometimes it ends up being my scripture study for weeks, months, or the year. It all depends on where the Lord leads me.

That’s simply how scripture study works for me, Saints. I read by topic. And sometimes the topic is inspired by a question, or by a situation, or by prayer. Since I read by topic, I’m always excited to dive in because it’s so relevant to me. I don’t fall asleep because I’m engaging with the word of God in the way that God designed it and me to work together. Just like I easily devour books on themes I’m interested in, I delve into the scriptures to find all I can on the area of study the Spirit has led me to. Embracing this and not worrying about why my scripture study might look different than others has allowed the scriptures to come alive for me, and made me grateful for a God that personalizes the gospel for each of us. 

A few years ago, Sister Elaine S. Dalton (former general young women’s president) forgot her scriptures at an event we both spoke at. She had all these colorful tabs in them, I wanted to open them and find out what it was all about, but Tamu said I shouldn’t be nosy, so I didn’t look. We got the scriptures returned to her and months later, we saw her again and she thanked us for getting them back to her. I took the opportunity to ask her about the tabs and she told me that each color represented a topic she was studying that year. I said, “Sister Dalton why didn’t you ever talk about this at conference! Do you know that some church folks got us out here eating moldy bread and feeling ashamed cause we can’t fill out the scripture coloring sheet!” I started peppering her with questions and telling on all my Sunday school teachers from Sunbeams through Gospel Doctrine. Then sister Dalton was like, “Well, I started doing it because I saw President Eyring’s scriptures once and I wondered what all the tabs were about, so I called him up.” Now at that point, I’m lookin’ at her like, let me not confess too much cause this lady all casually got the phone number for prophets, seers, revelators, and such. . . meanwhile, I’m just out here tryna stay off their radar.

So Saints, how you engage with the scriptures may be different than how I or anybody else does, and that’s more than ok, it’s wonderful! How we each read them today might even change as we experience different stages of life and personal revelation reveals the distinct ways in which the word of God speaks to us. The beauty of the plan of happiness is that there is no perfect mold we each have to fit. Yet through God’s perfect plan, we each find happiness as we discover our divine design with the Lord.

Want more from Zandra Vranes and Tamu Smith? Find them at aTOFW event near you! But if you can't make it (because, you know, life can get pretty crazy) then be sure to check out their 2016 TOFW presentation available on Deseret Bookshelf and deseretbook.com.